Over the last few weeks of my life, I have had to look at some of the relationships that I have in my life. No relationship is as important to me as the one between my best friend and me. It had become apparent to me that they had been somewhat distant over the last couple of weeks. We weren't talking as much in person and never really seemed to hang out outside of school. It was then that I had to become mindful of what my friend was going through in order for me to truly understand. They had been going through some personal issues that they didn't really feel like talking about. Here I was thinking it was all about me when in reality, my best friend was struggling. I don't completely blame myself for believing that is was about me. It seemed like every time we were with a group of people, I was the one that my friend chose to ignore. This made me somewhat upset seeing as how we are supposed to be best friends. I realized that the reason I was so upset is because the society I had surrounded myself with was leaving me out. I thought that because my friend wasn't talking to me meant that they were mad at me. When in reality this was just a social construct. Just because my friend wasn't talking doesn't mean that they were mad, it just meant that they didn't feel like talking. It's now that I am being mindful that I can realize that not talking is just an action my friend chose because they didn't want to. My friend would always wear their earbuds whenever we were at lunch. I took this to mean that they didn't really feel like talking. Earbuds Headphones are something that in today's society can hold a lot of meaning. If someone has their headphones out, it usually means that they want to listen to you. If they have both earbuds in, people around them generally know to stay away because that person doesn't feel like talking. While there is no denying that's what earbuds can be used for, it could also simply be the person trying to concentrate on what they are doing.
In a way, my friend was trying to help themselves the best way they knew how by distancing themselves. It's hard to argue against this plan of action when it is known to work. In "The Outliers" by Malcolm Gladwell, it talks about how a small village was able to thrive with little to no problems. One of the reasons talked about how the town was isolated, disconnected from the outside world. As a result, the town didn't have to deal with any stresses coming from the outside world. I truly believe this is what my friend was trying to accomplish. They felt that they already had enough going on in their life to where they didn't want to carry anyone else's problems.
Even though I can look back and say that my friend had their own reasons for being distant, I can't ignore how it impacted me. I became pretty aggravated and seemed to have a really short fuse, especially with my mom. Sure my mom always does stuff to annoy me, but now I was already upset so it couldn't have ended well. We would get into some arguments and she would always say the same thing "You're the child and I am the adult". This was always something that would get me angry growing up because it is out of my control. Whatever problem I may be having is completely dismissed simply because I am younger. It seems like that is the only role my mother wants me to have, to be the child in our relationship. It frustrates me because it goes against the idea of Functionalism in that everyone is supposed to have a role and mine is one that I am not satisfied with. This goes along with the reading we did about the teen-parent conflict. My mother makes me more upset by reminding me that the only role I serve is to be the child. This also goes along with Conflict Theory, in how my mother can always win the argument by bringing up the rules that she created that simply because she is the adult means that I am wrong.
